Indecision is a choice to suffer.
Habitually indecisiveness is a powerful, destructive decision in and of itself. Wrong decisions can be righted. Making no decision leaves you at the mercy of others, nature, or the universe. Chronic indecision is like breeding overwhelm, depression, self-doubt, fear, low self-esteem, self-sabotage, resentment, and victimhood in a little Petri dish in your soul.
Our inability to make decisions is tied to all the narratives we have pining around in our heads. We create paralyzing horror stories that begin with the thought, ‘What if?’ We overthink. We catastrophize. We fear. We freeze. Learn to conquer your indecision so you can take back your life.
Next time you have a decision to make, ask yourself:
1. What am I afraid of? Feeling fear doesn’t mean a decision is wrong. Fear can signal you are doing something new or something that requires change. Fear can signal healthy risk-taking. Our job in life is to walk towards fear. Overcoming fear, or at least feeling the fear and moving forward anyway, is how we grow, develop, and deepen our understanding of ourselves. The question is, is the fear dangerous and reckless, or is it excitement and proof you are fully living your life? Instead of ‘what ifs’, consider listing ‘why nots.’
2. Am I worried I will disappoint someone? Becoming who you need to become requires decisions. Decisions will, without a doubt, disappoint others from time to time; boundaries always affect those who bump into them. That doesn’t mean your decision is selfish or unkind. It means you’ve chosen a specific path for yourself. Sacrificing yourself for the sake of pleasing others is a long, slow, painful death. All choices come with inherent imperfections. Embracing the imperfect is empowering.
3. Do I feel like I need more time? You will always feel like you need more time before you feel ready. If you wait to feel ready to make decisions, your life will pass you by. General Colin Powel had a rule of thumb: 40/70. To make sound decisions, General Powel suggests you have 40% of the information needed but at most 70% of the information needed. If below 40%, you are only winging it. Above 70%, you’ve waited too long, and you’ve missed a great opportunity. Self-trust is earned. You can’t wish yourself to trust your decisions. You must make decisions and live with them. The more decisions you make, the easier it will become and the more nimble you will become.
4. Will I benefit from blaming others? Blame is an undeniable benefit of indecision! If we sit back and allow others (or the universe) to make our decisions, we have the perfect excuse to blame if things don’t work out. Blaming others gives us a Teflon coating. Nothing has to ‘stick’ to us if we can make our circumstances someone else’s fault. Indecision means we can blame our every fault or failure on someone else. Pretty handy. Blaming external factors for your decisions can provide an initial sense of safety, but it erodes relationships, ambition, joy, and dreams.